Journal (Rambly Musings)

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Wisdom

"Knowing about other people and situations is the beginning of understanding. Understanding is the beginning of tolerance. Tolerance is the beginning of acceptance, and acceptance is the beginning of love."

- from the book, "Wisdom of the Ages" by Jim Stovall
posted by Jill 9:23 a.m.

Monday, September 29, 2003

Just Another Regular Ol' Life Altering Weekend

Friday: I'm doing these really intense workouts which are split into mat exercises days and weights days. On Friday I pushed myself to really do the weights exercises, knowing that I was doing a training class on Saturday on the mat exercises. Since I did them fully and was using muscles I haven't used in a while, I was rather sore and walking became a little interesting.

Saturday: No, the training class was *not* the mat exercises, it was the weights, which I had just done the day before. I learned long ago never to do the same workout 2 days in a row, and let me tell you, this was really, quite very confirmed. Not only did I really learn the proper ways to do weights and therefore really exercising those muscles, but I was also having *much* more difficulty walking.

On the bright side, from my exercising consistently for a few weeks and from these 2 workouts in a row, I could already feel muscles that weren't there before.

They were actually calling it a fitness "party," and in the afternoon I was off to a psychic "party." I'm not normally into psychic stuff, not since high school, but I was a little curious, and I really like the group of people who were putting it on, so I went.

Holy cow. I learned... wow.... stuff. Big stuff! It wasn't so much about the future as it was about how to get to where I want to go. With my business it was so simple it was funny. What came up was I should just do what I already know to do. Stop making excuses, just do it. (There was more that came up, like how I should move and I'll keep being stuck until I do, and maybe I'm in the wrong business...... But that guy apologized and said his reading was off and I should do it with someone else. The someone else told me about "just doing it." Since we get to choose what to believe and what not to believe, my instinct tells me to stay here and keep doing coaching. For now.)

With my relationships.. well.....! One psychic told me not to be in a Relationship (with a capital R) until I have worked on the thing inside me that's holding me back. Only when I've done that will Mr. Right appear. Another psychic told me that this thing that's holding me back has to do with things in my childhood and with me blaming myself for them. It was things I sort of knew but he took a much deeper cut at it, and it rather shook me. I feel great though, like right now I'm meant to be single, and things will come into place once I finally give myself that focus I should have been giving myself all along.

I have a lot of work ahead of me.

Sunday: I got home extremely late from the party, and I had... a workout (!) planned with some friends Sunday morning. Am I insane? Maybe. But..... I wanted to keep my Integrity since I said I'd be there, as well as try to maintain a routine of working out on certain days. I just did the mat exercises...... very,... very.... carefully. By the end... well, let's just say that walking wasn't really an option any more.

I thought I might have had a chance for a little nap or rest, but no. I was off to support someone leading an Introduction to the course I'm doing these days. It was in a town an hour away, so needless to say this became a rather long day. My afternoon at this was very intense--sitting through that Intro with a new person leading it, therefore seeing new big things for myself and my life, really shook my world a little more. My even bigger reason for going and not backing out was because it was being held in this woman's natural health food and supplement store with whom I have a Strategic Alliance for my business--I have already sent her clients, and she's been promising to display and distribute my business cards. I really wanted to have this deadline for making more cards and to deliver them in person. ("Just doing it," like Mr. Psychic suggested! I'm such a good girl. *halo*)

By the time that was over and we had chilled out after, it was about 7:45 (left the house for it that morning around 11am) and I was technically supposed to be at poetry at 8pm. Why on earth would I still want to go to poetry after my world was all shaken, I could barely walk, by this point I have a growing migraine, and all I want to do is curl up and sleep? Well I'm so glad you asked!!

a) I had been email corresponding with one of the features for the show I organized a few weeks ago who didn't make the final cut to be in my show even though she sounded fantastic (I needed to pick few from many, and choose a wide variety of acts), and I really wanted to see her perform.
b) I promised my friend/recent ex I would meet this good friend of his visiting from Spain, and this was our only chance to get together. He really wanted me to perform while she was there, but no way no how, not tonight, let me tell you.
c) I had asked (dared?) someone I met at another poetry reading 2 weeks ago to write a poem about this temporary tattoo I had had that said, "Eat me, go Veg!" and to deliver it to me at the reading. I was thoroughly impressed! (And embarrassed, when he read it on stage, and told everyone for whom he wrote it. :/ ) It was very unlike anything I would have imagined he'd come up with. Not that I could imagine what he'd come up with, but had I imagined something, this would not be it. I was blown away, it was really great. He should really do more writing and readings. (hint hint)

The poem, by that guy Andrew, based (very very loosely) on Veggie Tales:

What are you going to do now, Larry?
You fine, upstanding moral cucumber
Millions of children look to you for guidance, Larry
What are you going to do now?
Now that you've fallen for a fruit from the wrong side of the tracks

You thought no-one would see you slip into the Free Times Cafe, Larry
And watch that slutty watermelon recite her poem
You didn't even remember her name
When you pressed your long, firm cucumber body against her
And felt up the curves on that tomato in the "Eat Me" t-shirt
You thought no-one was watching, Larry
You though... none of these people know who I am anyway

And now you're on the front page of the papers, Larry
You and William Bennet
And Jimmy Swaggart has publicly vouched for your character
And asked the community to forgive you
But you're not sure you ~want~ Jimmy Swaggart to vouch for your character

What are you going to do now, Larry?
You fine, upstanding moral cucumber

No, I really shouldn't have gone, but I did.

Not only that! but:

I got more potential clients this weekend!

I got flirted with several times by several people! (Ya, that used to happen a lot, but hasn't happened for quite a while. Maybe have something to do with the vicious love circle soup I was in.) Felt pretty good. :)

Speaking of vicious love circle soup, someting about seeing my best friend/ex today was really weird. It's hard to put into words. Something has changed, though I'm not sure what. I also, much to my shock, got how very important I am to him and in his life. Kind of contrary to the place I was putting myself in his life. Just a little more world-shakin' here, to add to the already altering weekend.

and... The third person in a week told me that I should try to get some media attention about my business.. like some newspaper articles. I think The Universe is trying to tell me something again. I didn't think I was ready for this, but this third person who was talking to me about it just today was quite insistent. I think this is a message. I think I had quite a few messages this weekend, and maybe it's time I started listening "out there" and not just stay stuck inside my own head, where not as much gets accomplished.

Still migrainy but I had to get all this out!! Good night everyone!

posted by Jill 1:10 a.m.

Monday, September 22, 2003

Never underestimate the power of a techno geek!

Years ago, when I was being wooed by a charming dutchboy, he sent me a lovenote email in Dutch. Then he apologized for being so mean sending me something in a foreign language.

My response: "Never underestimate the power of a computer geek!" I subsequently sent him his message back translated through a language conversion website.

Today I was supposed to be meeting with a potential business contact, and while I was in the restaurant waiting for him a fair distance from my home, he got stuck and couldn't meet me for another hour. In his message on my home line he apologized that there was no way to contact him. It's actually not that difficult to figure out the phone number of a voice mail, so I called him back, much to his awestruck shock. He said that was the strangest thing that ever happened, that I was able to "track him down all the way to this seedy little bar on the edge of town."

Never underestimate the power of a techno geek!!
<insert evil laughter here>

posted by Jill 7:54 p.m.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Site Changes!

omg, I actually updated my personal website! It's been almost... gosh... a year?

Some of the changes:

Updated navigation
Links to my coaching business
and most importantly...
A new About Me page! It was about time, I have changed a lot since I did that page about a year ago.

My site doesn't seem to be coming down as I thought it would, so I guess we're ok for now!
posted by Jill 1:55 p.m.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Changes

1. My site may be down for a bit. If it is, I'll point jillbinder.com to go right to my blog. Fear not! It will be back.

2. The Food Fair arts performance on the weekend went well. It was definitely a learning experience! Man, what will I do with all my time now that I'm not organizing it??

3. I'm single again, for a while. I haven't accepted it yet, but you know, life goes on. We're now best of friends (again). Gee, feels like I've been here before.

4. I've been sick for a couple of weeks. Now that I slowly come to and start to unpack my new place, I'm thinking to myself, "Hey... This is a pretty cool place."

5. Business is going well! I'm reminded time and again that this is really what I'm meant to be doing. http://www.stopsmokingcoach.ca)

Tis all I can think of for now. You are updated.

posted by Jill 9:10 p.m.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Opposite of Whine Whine Whine

Ok, I admit it. I was worried. I was worried about the performance show at the Food Fair this coming weekend that I've been organizing for months. After all this hard work, I hadn't heeded people's warnings about overbooking the show, I wasn't getting responses from all of the performers, I have no idea what I'm doing in terms of stage managing, lots of last minute troubles are coming up, etc. etc.

I learned something a while ago about worries and stress.... I learned the concept that I'm an adult therefore I can handle it. If there is something I can't handle, get help. Therefore, there is nothing to worry over anymore.

Well, I have accomplished the impossible! I have a stage manager, someone to sell the books during the show, and 2 people to wrangle the audience. Someone pulled some strings for me and got me extra time for the show to take care of my overambition. I am gracefully handling all of the last minute issues that are coming up.

Everything is coming into place! I can do this! I really can!

Speaking of everything coming into place, I doubled my number of stop smoking clients this week. I can't believe it! While I was (still am) sick, too! Things in that area are on a roll. It's incredible! It's amazing what happens when you put your mind to it and you're in action. I decided I was going to have 5 new complimentary session coaching calls this week. (After having only done 1 in several months because of being busy with so many other things, this is quite a feat.) I scheduled 3 already, have had 2 of them, and they turned into clients!

The website business is going well as well. We're focusing on our own website right now, and it is going to be absolutely kiss-arse. Ben is a genius, and our site will be stunning. I'm so glad we're working together. I just hope I can turn his vision into a beautiful, workable, simple site!

That's all for now... Signing off..

Go out there, be in action, and live your dreams, people!

posted by Jill 10:48 p.m.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Whine Whine Whine

I've been sick since Wed. night. Haven't shaken it yet and I've got a poetry feature tonight (that was booked months and months ago).

I will survive. I will.

I'm very upset about the state of my apartment! I haven't done any unpacking since I got sick, and for a couple of days before that I was diving into work since I hadn't done much in a while due to the move (oh the joys of setting your own hours ;).

I had a weird realization today.... I was thinking about how to explain coaching to someone (which I've gotten very good at) and it occurred to me that this isn't the first time that I've been in a non-traditional field that's not fully accepted yet and that requires an explanation when you tell people what you do for a living. Hmm. What does this mean? Does it mean I don't like being traditional? Or maybe just that the jobs that are worth doing, in my opinion, aren't the "normal" jobs out there. Yep, no "drone" life for moi! Hahahaha!

posted by Jill 4:45 p.m.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?


I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks Margaret for this.
posted by Jill 8:17 p.m.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Moving, Phase III: The Unpacking
(The rest of my weekend too.)

We skipped through Phase II as my computer was being packed up while all the rest of my belongings were being sorted and packed. This weekend they were all moved (much thanks to my parents, my boyfriend, my roommie, James D., and Marcine). (Oh yes, for Phase I Josh also deserves mucho thanks.) (If I missed anyone, I blame it on the exhaustion. Email me and you will be included in my public display of thanks.)

Now I sit in my new apartment in a sea of boxes.

My computer isn't up yet. My new roommie is graciously letting me use hers.

She's also letting me use her phone. Bell isn't hooking up my line until Thursday. :'(

It was a very eventful weekend! Besides the packing and moving (which was very large and significant.. but besides that), there was:

- Party-hopping with my wunderful boyfriend--his friends and mine
- My parents who came out to see me read poetry for the first time ever!! That was so exciting!! The host squeezed me onto the bill last minute so that I could do that. It was really fun, and I think (hope) they enjoyed it.
- The oh-my-god-it-was-so-good first annual International Poetry Slam. Three of my Vancouver friends and one from Winnipeg who used to live in Vancouver when I did read at the Slam. It was so packed I couldn't get in (no one without pre-paid tickets was allowed). It was 45 minutes to get to the place so I stood by the door for 10 minutes just so I could at least hear what was going on. The Shane saw me and told them I was with the Van team so they let me in! Holy freaking fantastic show! I got there around 9pm and it went until 1:30am-ish.

posted by Jill 2:46 p.m.